Random roundup

What’s up lately? Let’s do bullet points!

  • Got a tattoo above my ankle a few weeks ago. It says “blessed” in my handwriting. No, it didn’t really hurt much. Yes, I have a high pain tolerance. If you don’t, I don’t recommend an ankle tattoo. 🙂 I like the tattoo, and I’m thinking I may get some decoration added around it sometime. It’s been about 10 years since my last tattoo, so I was due.
  • Just got back from the annual MLB trip with Honey Bear. Great time, and our team won. Twice. 🙂
  • Thanks to generic Effe.xor I am feeling much better.
  • Foster-to-adopt paperwork notebook is still lying in the floor…
  • I’ve been reading “Sex with the Queen: Nine Hundred Years of Vile Kings, Virile Lovers, and Passionate Politics” by Eleanor Herman. It’s nonfiction, and I recommend it if you like history without the boring shit.
  • Swimming! Yay for summer.
  • Got my purple belt in taekwondo  last week. Woot.
  • Nothing doing in TTC land. I meant to start taking that Metformin again but keep forgetting. Which probably really means I’m not committed to starting all that again…
  • I’ve been enjoying all those little things that I wasn’t doing whilst TTC, including coloring my hair, getting tattoos, and drinking beer and pinot noir. Lovely.
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Meanwhile

I’ve been thinking about working on the foster-to-adopt paperwork again. Note I said thinking. I haven’t actually picked the binder up off the floor yet, where it has lain for an embarrassingly long time after one of my cats knocked it off the side table. A high school friend of mine just had her final walk-through before being an “open” home, and it has got me thinking again. I know it is a lot to deal with, but surely I can accomplish one form at a time. I don’t have to do the whole packet in one sitting. But knowing we can’t do any classes until this is done might keep me at it if I can get started again.

Changing from one medicine to another seems to be helping my moods, and maybe I’ll start getting some things done. On the paperwork, but also around the house.

I bought a vintage Royal portable typewriter recently, and I’ve been tapping out poems. Loving it and my cleaned-up projects table. Since Good Kitty wants to be with me all the time, I set her up a chair with a cat bed on it right next to me. She loved it, but now Naughty Kitty has taken it over. This is hilarious because 1) I haven’t bought him a pet bed since he was about 1 because he never uses them and 2) it is too small for him and he squishes himself in it. We’ll see how long this lasts.

Taekwondo is going alright. I have been trying to work on my concentration more, and I still really need to work on In Wha One, our form this session. I have all my stripes to graduate, but I still feel sketchy and need to work on it more in the next 2 weeks. Next Friday is graduation, to purple belt for me. I got a terrific bruise on my knee in kickboxing class Thursday when I exhibited my grace and tripped while jumping over a weight bag. It has turned amazing colors and sizes. Fantastic.

Don’t ignore

“Don’t ignore infertility” is the theme for National Infertility Awareness Week 2012. There is tons of information available on the Interwebs (see links below), but here are a few things I’d like you to know:

  • Don’t ignore – the signs of infertility. If you have been trying to get pregnant for over a year, or 6 months for those over age 35 or with particular health conditions, it is time to get some help. Talk to your general practitioner or gynecologist or find a fertility specialist in your area.
  • Don’t ignore – the many ways to build a family. Keep your mind open to fostering, adoption and/or assisted reproduction, if in accordance with your beliefs.
  • Don’t ignore – friends and family struggling with infertility. It sucks, and isn’t really something people want to talk about. But show that you care and find out how you can be supportive.
  • Don’t ignore – the costs. Infertility is expensive business. Getting diagnosed or getting treatment may not be covered by insurance. If possible, advocate for insurance coverage of infertility with your local government representatives.
  • Don’t ignore – your partner and your “real” life. Take care to communicate and do fun things together.
  • Don’t ignore – your feelings. Only the person dealing with infertility will know when it is time to call it quits or make a change in treatment. Don’t ignore what your body is telling you. Don’t ignore your instincts about your health care. And don’t ignore the pain and sadness. Honor your feelings and treat yourself with care and love.

 

For more information please check out Resolve’s What is Infertility? page and About NIAW.

 

Just a little miscellaneous update

I didn’t get Good Kitty back from the vet until yesterday. Her numbers actually got worse Friday so she stayed over the weekend. Despite the treatments, her lab numbers continue to suck, but since she is eating well and acting OK we have brought her home. Naughty Kitty isn’t sure what is going on. I think he’d decided he was an only child last week. He’s hissed at her, and we’re keeping them separate when we aren’t with them just because Good Kitty smells unfamiliar since she’s been at the vet for a week. They just need some readjustment time.

Good Kitty isn’t much interested in her dry food, or much of her water, but the wet food is a hit, and I am adding extra water to it for extra fluids. She seems to like it soupy. She even ate good this morning when I put medicine in her food. Last night she wandered laps around the house, like she was trying to refamiliarize herself with the place. She’s toddling around sort of weakly, perhaps from her illness and perhaps from not using her muscles much for a week. We spent some quality time resting on the couch together last night, and then she passed out on my shoulder for a couple of hours till Honey Bear came to bed and I asked him to move her to her kitty bed in the bathroom (her temporary alone-time space).

I’m not sure whether to expect much improvement, so we are just trying to make the best of whatever time we have left. Hopefully a lot, but it is hard to tell. Today is my first vacation day of the week. I was going to head back to my hometown to see my family, but I’ve postponed the trip for a day. Good Kitty isn’t doing as well as I would like before I leave for a few days. So I’m going to spend the day at home with her and Naughty Kitty. See if I can get them reacquainted better, get her to eat and drink well, and see what she feels up to doing. Right now she’s helping me write this by supervising from my lap. 🙂

I honestly haven’t thought too much about the baby stuff this week. A couple of times I have thought about the foster-to-adopt paperwork that I haven’t tackled, and I’ve felt a little guilty about it, then I’ve ignored it again. And last night I got a little shock when someone I already knew to be pregnant announced it officially on Facebook with a photo. It just sort of surprised me even though it wasn’t a surprise. I still have a $386 anesthesia bill sitting here from my surgery that I need to pay. I am glad that we didn’t have to pay for the Specialist Guy tests last week, because Good Kitty’s vet bill is taking a big portion of my paycheck that I am getting on Friday. Yay for postdating checks. So yeah, I need to sort of figure out the baby plan, but right now it is nice to take a little break.

Taekwondo continues to kick ass. I’ve gotten to spar in the last couple of weeks because I have all my protective gear now. It is pretty awesome and surprisingly quite a workout. I also attended a kickboxing class last week. I thought I might die from all the cardio, but I made it through and it rocked.

Thinkin’

I was chatting with a friend yesterday, and I found myself saying some things that I didn’t really know I was about to say. One of those things where you aren’t sure what is going on in your mind until you articulate it to someone else and realize the truths.

We were discussing my Friday appointment with Specialist Guy and how I wasn’t feeling very positive about it. In addition to the things I wrote here previously, I noted that I am tired of it all and that perhaps I have been neglecting the foster-to-adopt paperwork on purpose. Like I feel like this Friday appointment is something I have to do, but maybe I am waiting until after that to give myself permission to focus more on the adoption stuff.

I do realize that my appointment could go spectacularly and I could come out all rejuvenated and excited about the prospects. But yeah, I’m protecting myself by not expecting that. I’m tired of all this shit and tired of being let down. I know that the foster-to-adopt process isn’t going to be easy either, that there are a lot of annoying hurdles and the glacial pace of a government agency. But I am worn down about the prospect of more invasive stuff happening to my body, and my nerves are so raw with the failure of it all that I realize I may need to make the hard decision soon. I’ve been trying to keep my options open, but maybe it would be best to focus on just one. I am hoping my Friday appointment will clarify some of these things. It may present a new can of worms, but I reserve the right to decide whether to open it.

Date day/night

I spent a nice day with Honey Bear. We met up for pizza buffet after my taekwondo class, then we ran several errands together. We spent awhile chilling at the bookstore. We did the giant soda and popcorn thing at the movies and saw Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Then we split a burger and fries before going home and watching our DVR’d shows. He’s been freelancing lately on Friday nights, so it was really nice to have another day off to spend time together.

There is nothing to report on the subject of acquiring children. Our specialist appointment isn’t until next Friday. We haven’t done jack on the most recent stack of foster-to-adopt paperwork. I keep putting it off, and I’m not sure why.