Commercials I’d Like to See

As I was mentally calculating how many paper towels I would need to tackle a heap of cat puke the other day, I started thinking about commercials that would really make me want to buy a product.

My Good Kitty frequently leaves me these gifts of vomit, sometimes caused by hairballs but more often caused by complications from her kidney disease. They are quite often what I call multi-sheeters.

I reeled off about 9 paper towels and was staring into the abyss that was 2 types of semi-digested food and a piece of a Snickers wrapper. I was thinking, I screw those commercials with the little kid who has spilled an ounce of juice, uh-oh!, and mommy comes by to save the day by using ONLY ONE PAPER TOWEL, WHAT A MIRACLE!

I’d be more impressed if I saw a commercial that started out with a zoomed-in shot of a big pile of barf and ended with a product that only required 1 sheet to deal with it.

It’d be like reality TV, with the actual reality included.

Other commercials I could appreciate:

  • projectile-baby-vomit and diaper blowouts (and products that would fix/contain that)
  • PMS and/or menopause medication ads that include images of crying in the shower or throwing shit at your significant other
  • period commercials that show ladies moping on the couch clutching their abdomen and chocolate bars, not jumping around for joy or wearing white skinny jeans
  • coffee advertisements depicting people with bed-head, bags and dark circles under the eyes, wearing old t-shirts and shorts and struggling to roll out from under the covers — you know, people who actually NEED coffee — not fake humanoids excited about getting out of bed, stretching lightly, well rested  in their ironed flannel pjs with perfectly styled hairdos.

What more realistic commercials would you like to see?


3 thoughts on “Commercials I’d Like to See

  1. Great post that I ohhhhh sooooooooo agree with! Ok, how about a commercial showing what really does happen when your herd of dogs come barreling in the back door after waltzing around in the mud. What was that the catalog promised about the rug magically sucking up all traces of mud as they walked over it? I don’t know any dog who stops to scrape their feet. More like fly OVER the rug as they make their escape to paint the floors a new shade of brown! Oh btw, no I didn’t buy the rug!

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