In which I bitch about “patient portals”

I really hate online “patient portals!” I wish they would get swallowed up by a supermassive black hole. I just had to get that out there.

I’m sure they have their benefits, but filling out medical history online is a pain in the ass. Do I look like I know the date I had a vaccination, or the date I first did a Clomid cycle? That’s why I’m providing my medical records and paying a crap-ton of money, so you Doctor Specialist People can take 5 frigging minutes and read my effing chart! Not so I can spend ages clicking Yes or No bubbles that then open up further bubbles or fill-in-the-blanks. Ugh, SO FRUSTRATING! Did I mention that if you don’t fill in the information completely, even if you don’t know the damn answer, it won’t let you advance to the next page? Aughhhh! Did I mention I had to fill out separate ones for both myself and Honey Bear? Does everyone sit around their house asking their spouse questions such as, Have you ever had problems with twisted testicles? Again, UGH!

I’m ready to get this (Friday) appointment with Specialist Guy over with. I’m really kind of dreading it. I hate having to rehash everything for a new doctor. I feel like I should feel all hopeful or some shit, but in reality I just feel like we are going to be asked even more questions we can’t answer and need even more tests we can’t really afford to pay for. I have no idea what kind of workup Specialist Guy will require before he agrees to help us do a cycle, and that is assuming he will do a non-IVF cycle. If we can do some IUIs or something with him, how are the logistics going to work with additional monitoring when we are 2 hours away?

I guess I shouldn’t worry about it, but I just can’t help it. There’s really nothing about this that I am looking forward to. I feel like I’m about to reach the end instead of a beginning. I hope I’m wrong and just being kooky and emotional. 😦


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